When the unconscious mind knows better...

Umm Sadiq • Dec 24, 2021

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

At first I was unsure of where the concept of 'Twin Souls' came into my unconscious mind. All I knew, as far back as I could remember, was that I wanted to meet my twin soul. I would dream of this, visualise it, even sometimes feel like it was about to happen. But it never did. 


It was the book 'The Alchemist' that introduced the concept of twin souls and as I had a soul mother and plenty of soul sisters, a twin soul or soulmate was only too natural for me to believe in. My best friend and I always joked that I was a soul spouse.


I remember the first time I set eyes on this person I mistakenly thought was my twin soul, my gut screamed 'stay away'. I was reminded of someone who I had met a few years ago and that had been a bad experience for me. A mentor of mine had said "you attract what you are" - I disagree... You attract what you fear!


So this soul, I avoided. We had a few random encounters, but all in all, I tried not to converse but being polite used to be my biggest issue. I just did not have any healthy boundaries back then. I felt I had to reply out of courtesy. If only I had the hindsight back then, that I have now - 'Ignore and delete'.


Under the pretence of information gathering, it turned out we had a lot of synchronicities. Life lessons can also have the same methodology as soul alignments. Wisdom is needed to decipher which is which. I did not have it back then.


As weeks went on, and our contact increased, this individual shared parts of their spirituality and visions. I had never met a real life ordinary person who had visions. I was being taught about things that I only read in books. The experiential experience had me mesmerised. The truth is I wanted to see these things and when I would be told about a vision that involved me, I would think "ah well, at least I'm there, right?".


I started to feel uneasy about having contact, I decided to distance myself. It wasn't like we were friends or anything. Yet I would often be contacted under the guise of a reason.. Each time, I would trust my gut and ask not to be contacted, I would receive a message of spiritual vision about a dream or wish that was so dear to me. I should have seen this for what it was but I didn't. Like a friend said how would one try to attract someone... well it's with what floats their boat ? Spirituality and goals it had to be.


This was the point I let my guard down and decided to trust this soul. Maybe the vision were a sign for me. I was very naïve.  I was in the stage of my life that I have lovingly called the 'nutter phase'. I thought I had all the right checkpoints to protect myself. This person went through this motion with me. After a specific vision that was seen, I was offered the world and more. I explained I didn't want much, only my twin soul to which the response was a hearty laughter. My instinct told me that this person thought they were my twin soul and had been sending me subliminal messages. I didn't know how to decipher this. I thought I would just know but I didn't.  My unconscious knew better, and I could not let it drop, so I had to ask. There was denial. Subliminal messages were being sent . I valued honesty and I thought this was  what was happening here. The truth was quite far from this. My every fear came before me from trust to self worth.


And though this person was not my twin soul, the one gift I did get from this experience was that I was introduced to another young soul who instantly fell in love with me. When she would tell me she was in love with me, I would say 'how'. Maybe, I was wary, but was wrong to question her because she truly was part of my soul.


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