It has been a while since I wrote a blog; part of it was because 2021 came with many curveballs, and as I dodged one, another arrived. It wasn't all doom and gloom; as with everything in life, I had some real growth moments.

I trained as NLP Trainer, cut the umbilical cord with a toxic employer and when the clock struck midnight on 1 January 2022, I vowed to myself to live in my higher self. The me who had contracted to grow through everything she was going through.

But as life would have it, if you say you have up levelled, you will be tested to see if you had. As the saying goes, you will be tested by the same lesson in different circumstances until you have mastered it.

So two days before Ramadan was the time to see if I had learnt my lesson. I got a phone call where I was told I had been accused of something extremely immoral and so out of my nature. Being slandered was nothing new, but my reaction to this was.

Of course, I was hurt and cried, but for the very first time in my life, the words of the Quran slipped from my lips with real meaning; it was not lip service; this was heart service. I had just returned from the land of Egypt, and all I could think about was 'Joseph (Yusaf alai salaam) was slandered in Egypt, and God raised him to become the Governor of Egypt and the King of Dreams. My friends laughed. One said to me,' Well, you will not be made Queen of Egypt'. I did not want to be a Queen of Egypt. I was a Queen in my own right as a woman who was protected, guided and trusted her Creator. 

The advice was to focus on my worship, for the month of worship and salvation was here. Ramadan has always been a revealing month where a lot of inner growth work occurs for me. As the veils of food and drink are lifted, I see my shortcomings and take small steps to purify myself. Don't get me wrong; it is not a pretty affair. There is a lot of crying on the prayer mat, but who said growth work was easy.

As we got towards the end of Ramadan, I felt the emotions rising and whisperings coming to me. I have always felt homesick ever since I was a young child, sometimes even in my bed. I know now that is the soul yearning for home (the land of souls), but I was practically convinced I must be adopted as a child! My dad did nothing to alleviate my concerns and would instead reiterate I was adopted from Japan. You see I was obsessed with all things Japanese.

On 25 Ramadan, less than five days to Eid, I reflected and 'my friend' loneliness decided to come and say "hello" I wasn't surprised. My prayer has changed recently from I want to meet a man of God to I want to meet God. My same good friend laughed when I told her of this dream prayer. She thought I wanted to depart from this world, but I reassured her I was looking to be intoxicated in God's love; this was a different type of departure. So when loneliness arrived, I knew I wanted God.

As I sat, I thought I should message my teacher and ask him, 'how do I meet God'. But then I thought I didn't want to bother him in these final moments of Ramadan when he will be in deep communion with God. I heard my phone ping. I thought it would be a message about some fundraising or prayer to read. But it wasn't. It was my teacher. I laughed and thought, what a coincidence. Yes, I know, there is no such thing as coincidence; it is all God's incidence, but logic had already kicked in.

When I read the message, I could have cried. It was written in Urdu, and though my Urdu wasn't weak, I wanted to check with my dad that I had understood it correctly. 

Another friend also rang to say she had got the same message, but she could not understand it, so could I translate it for her.

So I did just that. The message was :

An 'Intoxicated mystic' in Kot Mithan Sharif kept asking the same question to everyone who came and went "When is Eid?" (When will Eid be?) 

Some people would not listen to this mystic, and some would pass by making fun of it. 

One day Baba Khawaja Ghulam Farid (may Allah have mercy on him) passed by this place, and the 'Intoxicated mystic' asked the same question. When is Eid? (When will Eid be) 

Baba Farid was an older man and a knowledgeable mystic himself. He smiled at the 'Intoxicated mystic' question and said; When the beloved is found, that day will be the day of Eid.

As soon as he heard these words, tears flowed from his eyes like pearls. With watery eyes, he said: Baba! "When will the lover be found?"

Baba Ghulam Farid (may Allah have mercy on him) said: When "I" will die.

As soon as that was said, the 'Intoxicated mystic', trembling, asked: Baba! "When will I die."

Baba (may God have mercy on him) smiled. He patted him affectionately and walked away 'when the Beloved gazes upon you'.

Here my teacher had given me the answer to my question. This wasn't a coincidence. It was telepathy at the finest and communication with my very own mystic.